Like a lady who suddenly realizes her prime is past her and desperation comes knocking, so is my sudden grapple with my future. So John, what you wanna be, an Actuary? Hell no! Coz i can never make it to be one. I barely made it for the course, i am barely graduating out of it and Gawd! I am not ready for the papers. In fact after my undergraduate, i will eschew anything that will be related to that skunk of a course.
So it got me thinking that my age is doubling and my conscience troubling. I whipped out my phone and browsed http://whatiwannabeinkenyaafteranyear.com where i found irresistible offers. I know there are many out there who have no idea of their future and are broiling into self-extinct. Others are looking haggard in their mid-twenties due to wrong career choices, thanks to 8-4-4 system that makes a crap out of your brilliant grey matter.
Yes i can be the next Runyenjes M.P. but I don't think i am ready yet. I am half-way 'How To Lie Between Your Teeth for Dummies' best-selling novel, and unless i have read it and crammed the '101 Ways of Making a Fool of Yourself in Public' will i comfortably vie. Mbarire Cecily, ain't that am afraid you can impeach the highest-earning eloquent civil servant in the country, just that am yet to grow a thick skin. Word!
I Can Be a Computer Wizard.
Yes, a geek or something, so stop laughing. I just realize am good at computers. I blog, i tweet, i facebook and google. In my home county, everyone in my family thinks am a geek. During semester breaks, their faces brightens when i touch our family computer.
Dad: Show us the the Daily Nation on screen.
Me: Uh-Ok.
I punch the keyboard randomly with speed and dread. All the stories are displayed by a touch of button. Which story do you want Dad? Click. I watch his face. I can hear his heart being proud of his son. I edit mom's work and she presents printed forms, not written mind-you, not even type-scrawled. I have shown my kins computer games, skyping and suggested to my mom she should have an e-mail account.
So she calls me weeks ago for an emergency, and John, HURRY! And hurry i did.
Me: Mom are you serious?
Mom: Look at it, it has eaten the brains out of me! It has been showing up every time i put a password. Might be a virus that has attacked my computer! Perhaps a Trojan Horse
Me: Might be, even worse. Say Trojan Mare or Stallion. What is your password?
Mom: sugarpricesarewayabovetheceiling...
Me: MOM!
Mom: You told me that the password should be long for security reasons...
Me: But not that long. I didn't suggest you exhaust your limited lexicon...
No i can't be a computer expert. That's not a career! A radio presenter? Mmmh...i know am daft, but not that daft. Radio presenters are horrifying and discouraging. Fake twangs, masters of relationships while they can't keep theirs, stars in 'Who is Dumb-er Now' Series. If you are not Fhareed Khimani of the XFM's The Rude Awakening Show, then you ain't a radio presenter. Thank you very much.
Or i can be a relationship counselor... ok, in a few years time I Wanna Be a Counselor.
Me: Welcome to Dr. John Phil M'lady, how can i crap on you?
Besieged Lady: My husband is a cow...
Me: Mmmh, that is a very harsh way of describing your husband, unless we talking in terms of his ability to produce enough milk.
BL: I will commit suicide!
Me: And we will miss you dear. How can I contribute in that auspicious venture?
There are many, many other un-tapped options in the Kenyan market, but what we need is a keen eye and opportunistic ideals. With patience and determination you can break into your long-time dream, and i believe you will be a satisfied individual lest you age with woes due to the wrong career choice.
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