HUNGER IN KENYA: Is it preventable?

Watching news in Kenya is a satisfactory experience. The daily comical political scenes that covers half of the news, freaky occurrences ranging from thuggery to stealing of human private parts, the sight of crisply-dressed news anchor and of course the 'live' tiring interviews with padawan analysts. This week, unfortunately, has been different.

The TV stations have refused to give me the right of enjoying their news.I no longer titter and snigger at the blatant escapades our politicians engage into. My remote control has been unraveling stark images of utter desperation, diseases and death of people dying in hunger.

Millions of people are dying, imagine, in this country, and four neighboring countries for lack of basic commodity. The country has experienced recurring bouts of drought, increasing frequently of late. But this drought, according to the ugly scenery before us, has to be the worst Armageddon for an un-imaginable period. The phrase 'people dying like flies' has never been used in a better context than this.

According to GHI, Kenya is among 30 highest food insecure countries in world . The attributes given range from drought, global financial crisis to the post-election violence that rocked us years ago. The government has raised a red flag, albeit too late, among countries like Djibouti, Ethiopia and war-toned Somalia. Which begs me to ask, what the fuck is really wrong with our government. Is it that rotten?

I mean, this is not like it is a new phenomena. Isn't there something, really, that can be done to avert this crises in large scale proportions? I know that they cannot say 'abracadabra' and make rains fall, i know they don't have that power, but they can reduce these effects by helping farmers and herders build resilience to these natural circumstances.

This government of Kenya surely can afford to do that. A country that has two leaders, blotted cabinet and wajuaji MPs and fails horribly to put measures in place that can reduce government-induced mortality rates is simply a sham outfit. And it does not deserve the little confidence the hoi polloi had for it. It is a failed government.

We should change the high level of inequality in this country, eschew the exclusion of the poor and vulnerable groups in the society whether social, economic or political, annihilate widespread corruption and nepotism, obliterate lack of investment in agricultural sector and trash contradictory legislative and policy framework.

Mzee Kibaki and Bwana Raila, it is not yet late to nullify these ugly images globe-trotting in international screens. I want to continue enjoying your ilk making fools of themselves as the General Elections looms ahead. As Kevin Cleaver said, 'The rains will fail. But let us not fail, too.'

PS: If GMO maize can aid in alleviating the current situation, why shouldn't we import it? I mean, hordes of hungry people are dying from more poisonous roots, leaves and weeds! My thoughts.

You can join here and many other organizations to contribute something to the afflicted. Or help Safaricom Foundation, KCB Foundation and Media Owners Association on their Kenya For Kenya Campaign in fighting the hunger.

KENYAN HOUSEHELPS @ 7000: The Calculation Crash

Hey there! There is a new crap-wave hitting the country. Apparently the government wants us to pay househelps a whooping 7000kes on a monthly basis. And you kept wondering why a sudden foul stench has been warping our conscience this past week!

This is according to a Gazette Notice by a certain full-o'-crap-than-thou Minister of Labour, John Munyes, which insists on these new regulations of minimum wages for househelp. Major cities will require to pay 7586kes while other counties 7000kes failure to which there is a penalty of being a state's guest for six months or a 50000kes fine.


Apart from that, the Household Executives, as i believe they will henceforth be called because of the fanciful enumerations, they will get House Allowance 15% of salary, two days per week rest, annual leave with full salary and Pension on retirement. Somebody please scream RAPE!

I am no stranger to bull-crap, but by Jove! never have i encountered such skunk-y and highly manured balderdash that this. This is just funny. Painfully funny. The kind of funny that makes you laugh while your intestines are twisting and your eyes puffing out with tears. Who, in Jeezuz name, comes up with these projections and recommendations? It is unfortunate that a crop of petty bourgeois can strive and work so hard just to prove how disgusting they are than what nature intended them to be.Because, if one is privy with Kenyan Economical transgression, as every Government Leader should, insipid recommendations like that would have found its place in a shredder before conclusion was made.

Even if one was feeling sufficiently philanthropic to co-operate with the 'decree', the task would prove impossible. The requirement is astronomical for a house-hold to implement, what with the pay package that is not that thrilling, house rents and mortgages with disheartening figures, electricity and water bills shooting through the roof and food prices hiking on hourly basis. Even FKE's Executive Secretary, Jackie Mugo or a name to that effect, has a bad feeling about this whole 'nothing'.

No one disputes the important tasks mboch has in our homes, from looking after the kids when parents are working, cleaning utensils, helping kids with school assignments to laundry have. (But it should not be forgotten that they can easily finish a family with STDs, cause divorce or steal a kid among other really scary things). That, though, should not cloud our reasoning and jump to imposing impossible and wicked regulations!

PRINCESS ROSE NASIMIYU: What Kenya Can learn From Her

The News Maker of the week in Kenya has to be Princess Rose Nasimiyu. She has graced every reasonable television station in the country, had radio interviews, trended in Twitter and currently has 20000+ likes in Facebook after her page was made yesterday. Rose is a cancer patient, suffering from Hodgkin's Lymphoma, a type of cancer originating from white blood cells.

Princess with her hair and without her hair

              

She was introduced to the media during a the launch of Africa Cancer Foundation by Professor Anyang' Nyong'o, the Minister for Medical Services and survivor of Prostrate Cancer. What awed the crowd was the charismatic, fluent and lively nine-year-old tale of how she learnt her ordeal last December through her mother's whimpers. Her song I Believe literally brought tears to all in the room.

                                     

Princess Rose is not your ordinary nine-year-old kid. She oozes so much hope, and the brilliance she dishes to all those struck by her eloquence changes all the perception about how we Kenyans view situations. We are a known nation that constantly whines on small situations and never realizing the predicament many are facing around us.

                    

When Jeff Koinange asks her in Capital Talk if she ever cries because of her situation, she is almost taken aback by the question. 'I can't,' she replies. 'I am a big girl now, and there are those who are way younger than me that needs a person to talk to. There are those younger, say one-year-olds, they have brain tumors, AIDs and other conditons...'

With Caroline Mutoko of Kiss 100

                               

Having completed seven out of sixteen courses of chemotherapy at St. Gertrudes Children Hospital, the princess is hopeful that she will be a model and Pediatric Oncologist when she grows up. 'But when they keep poking my beautiful skin, how can i be a model?' she poses in reference to chemo which leaves her completely exhausted. 'It takes about eight hours and after that i can vomit up to twelve times and feel better.'

In one of media houses

                                    

Because of the exorbitant amount of money needed for her treatment(a session takes up to 60000kes), Princess Rose has released a song to raise money and help her mother out. 'I told her, "I don't want to see you struggling" that's why i composed the song. It gives hope to those suffering from terminal maladies that there is always hope.'

At Jeff's Bench

                                          

Her story is that of hope, determination and refusing to give up. It shows us that God has a plan for each and every one of us, and though we may be laden with inconceivable plight, He will never forsake us. Many a times we grow uncomfortable with small and irrelevant details in our lives to appreciate how fortunate we are to live our normal lives.

                                       

As Princess Rose says, "Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death" we should truly learn how to appreciate the life we live.

You can support #RoseNasimiyu through M-PESA PayBill 551754 or buy her Skiza tune by sending SKIZA 5050006 to 811.

or

To make contributions you can M-PESA 0724 55 17 54 or contact Princess' mother on pwegesa@yahoo.com

 

You can watch Princess Rose' interview with Jeff Koinange below

THE KENYAN ADVERT: The Kenyan Way

When i was young and shy of knowledge, i would try to figure out the sense in corporate advertisements in the living room. It was irking to see a program at its climax cut short~say Suburban Bliss, for those who were born before 90's can remember this, and when KBC was the only Tv station~for ads. I failed to understand why a company would pour out buckets of monies from their limited coffers for such cause.

As days became months and old-age became synonymous with my face, i became wiser and a little bit knowledgeable. I understood, as any serious entrepreneur will have to understand, that Adverts are primal for a company's survival in this hostile world of competitions, mergers and acquisitions.

Ads range in ways, designs and message. They are crafted for the simple task of 'I want you to buy me and not that' theme. Unfortunately, the world is currently awash with ads clutter. Companies are using millions of money to get their message out only to be ignored. It is akin to working hard for failure!

The right adverts should hit right prospects with entertaining, hard-to-ignore messages that can follow people via high-tech media whether in cars, their residences, offices or institutions of learning. The right ad will see a big jump in customer mind-share while holding line on marketing cost. Kenyan advertisement society has come a long way, from infuriating mono-syllabic and ambiguous crap to an international-level marvel of creativity.

As the internet wave is having its largest share of advertisements due to the cheapness and target group involved, television advertisements in Kenya is the sure way of reaping profit from 30+ million viewers. Let me sample the best and the awkward adverts that have graced our respective living rooms during dinner time.

• Safaricom and its products

Safaricom has to be the most aggressive blue-chip company in the region when it comes to advertisements. Every ad by Safaricom is a revelation that entertainment can be successful factor in advertising. From M-Pesa, Bonga points, Safari 7's, Ideos...ad infinitum. Especially the Niko Na Safaricom campaign.

                          

• Airtel 

Airtel is another advert worth giving a glance. Although their exotic ads rarely cut with the ordinary of the clientelle, it is their persistence that keeps them in market. The 'Utahama Lini?' is still etched in Kenyan's brains.

•    Yu

There was this time when Yu had a series of formidable ads. From the mama mboga to the current one of a magistrate screaming 'All charges DROPPED!', methinks Yu is approaching a feeble and desperate method to woo customers.

                              

• Trust Condom

You simply have to love their adverts. Remember the black Adam and Eve clip after the umbrella-gate ad in a traffic jam? Well, the 'Yes!' campaign is still trending in the mind of youths.

                         

• EABL

Kenya Breweries are doing a great work when it comes to marketing their products. Pilsner Na Mfalme, The Greatness in Guiness, Tusker Milele not to mention a few. Their Dont Drink and Drive awareness campaign is a success. Their enthusiastic approach is partly due to Tabitha's Keroche taming their monopoly.

                        

• Kenya Airways

This advert is one of the few in Africa that feels at home in CNN. It is global, smart and entertaining. it makes one to want, again and again, watch it. Its other ads include Msafiri, world cup and the Sevens Rugby.

                    

• Kenchic

'When you are KUKU about chicken' is the best slogan associated with this fast-food franchise. It's best advert is the one that involved Inspector Mwala

                         

• Supa Loaf

There are sooo many bread variety in the country, and having realized that, Supa Loaf has cut above the niche with 'Never say bread say Supa Loaf' advert. The comic ad of a lady going berserk because his husband spotted a young lass with binoculars is also a spot-on.

• Sony Sugar

This advertisement is shot in a marriage setting, with a theme song of a Kenyan classic ballad 'You are my sweeetie, my sugar'. Simply outstanding.

                           

• DuraCoat Paints

Show me a person in Kenya who doesn't know Peter Marangi and i will show you an egg that can not break under a clamp. Marangi is phenomenal in the ad and 'Me am Peter Marangi and me i know about painting!'

                   

• Mpango Wa Kando

This advert sensitizes the citizens against sex outside marriage. Jimmy Gathu comes in as a very admonishing who busts the philandering couples in the act.

                         

•  Barclays Bank

The dancing robot found its way back in our living rooms after almost a decade of in-existence. Then came the 11.99% mortgage ad where Kate Kibugi, the lady who broke Guiness World Records earlier in March for Limbo dance, coolly asks 'Do you want to know why?...That's why'. She is simply irresistible, and so is the ad. The latest ad with Maqbul is also spot on. 'Look at yourself, now look at me'.

• Kenya Power

Don't we love their versatility? You would even wonder why a monopolistic company like KP would go at pains to market their products so vivaciously as if there are competitors around. They have adverts rich in graphics and heritage.

Other unforgettable ads include Family Bank's Pesa Pap!, APA Insurance and Equity Bank's M-Kesho. The irritating ones have to be Harpic, Pampers, Always and all toiletries including Aerial Detergent, Dettol soap and OMO.

All in all, adverts are a primal requirement for economical advancement in a serious profit-making company.