Thursday, 27 October 2011

The Heart Never Learns

.............i can' t hold my breathe........can' t seem to get my bearing right........I'm exhausted, i can' t fight anymore..........where am i?.......where am i?.......the effort to remember is just so much and i pass out again............

I come again and its so cold. Up ahead i see a withered ref rose. My head is filled with so many memories that i just wish i' d forget. Pity, there is no delete button in the human system.

She had gone. She who, at one time, i thought she was responsible for the very survival of my heart beat. Someone said,''the heart is not so smart'', wish i would have believed him or was it her(pardon my disorientation).......what was that?.......a small voice in my brain just said,''i told you so''. One would think that it was not a part of me.

Years spent on teaching my heart to do two tasks at a time, just went up in smoke. Though hard, it had learn t to ensure that my veins never run dry and at the same time, beat to the tune of love. Now, it came close to ensuring that i became non-existent as it over flooded my veins with a liquid that is vital for your presence in this universe. It had bee sacked from one of its tasks and thought that the energy should be directed to pumping more blood through my veins and that if necessary, my system would construct a dam to reserve the excess blood. Talk about it being dumb. Stupidity to a whole new level.

In the sea of emotions, i was lost. My fear of water exceeding the bucket capacity, is unrivaled. The waves carried my tired being and threw me in parts unknown. Nearly 12 hours of my life never to be recovered and not a single memory of what had transpired in that period. I get up, dust myself, or maybe in this case, mud and grass or is it weed myself? Got lots of that combination all over me. I vow not to trust my heart and give my brain the power to dictate all that takes place from now on. After the little stint of my veins wanting to open up, i' m taking no more chances with my heart.

As my brain dances in triumph, and my heart is a little bored for it only has one task to perform, i come across a clearing and there before me is the full definition of beauty. She turns and smile makes the sun shy away. As i go towards her, i think my brain just went bananas. Its seething with anger trying to remind me of a vow i made not so long ago. I have no idea why its throwing tantrums while my heart starts getting excited as a smile starts to form at the corner of my mouth...............

Monday, 24 October 2011

Let us be thankful For Murder And Not Yet Slaughter

Let us be thankful for murder not yet slaughter,
For the pressure of something controlled, however slight,

That keeps their blood from turning quite to water;
Let us be thankful for dusk that is not yet night,

For half-felt meanings that render their acts impure

For the random pause

And the knife...

That is not quite sure

Remembering, it is wrong to dream of other days
And wrong no less to conjure a perfect land,

Let all of us give thanks,

And pray for the hate that will

Steady the knife in our own sure hand.

Friday, 21 October 2011

MUAMMAR GADHAFI; A Hero, A Mentor, A Champion. A Saint

The death of Colonel Muammar Gadhafi, a hero, a pace-setter, a determinant.

If only he could be eulogized as thus. A visionary leader, un-bowed, smart and eccentric. But the world, the Western-idolizing world, celebrates his death with wild cries of rugged coyotes and pitiful pats on their backs. An achievement worth of champagne, important-looking faces of glee, indefatigable salutes of importance speeches, rush to acclaim the glory by the western regimes. The miscreants of noble gangs!

I mourn Muammar's death, and rightly so. He dreamt dreams and was ready to make them come true. He visioned the conglomeration of African States in an attempt to subdue the pathetic asperity the westerners had on Africa.And he, single-handedly, funded African's highest union, the African Union. he was the African savior.

But the African countries, despite all these, have proofed to be moribund. Under the aegis of asinine avarice from African leaders, and petty promises of international funds that will swell their personal coffers, it's no wonder that no one from AU raised a finger on Muammar's augurical woes that commenced in mid-February. Whereas Gadhafi cared for each and everyone's ass in Africa, the vice-versa cannot be averred.

It is a case of pure and brutal betrayal.

So pure, so bile-filled than his purported death, which amazingly, has varied versions and ego-induced balder-dash poised to fortify the rebel's greatness. So great is the word 'rebels' to many an ears, that will soon bring a different acceptance to the title 'pirate'. It is no longer the antagonist's name but the champions of right and democracy!!

And the African leaders, their wrinkled balls emanating from their heavily lined fore-heads, continue with their devotion to protect their country men with high inflation, un-affordable food and fuel prices, internal self-extinction in the name of tribalism and plain, raw poverty. They have no time for someone who has tried to induce an environment of self-respect and recognition, donors instead of beggars, credibility instead of arrant stances.

Libyan's celebration is not Libyan's celebrations, it is the rebels celebrations. And i know some of the rebels, deep inside them, know that something has gone terribly awry. Here are some facts the Western-idolizing hard-hitting fourth estate has failed to highlight;

Libyans have never ever in Gadhafi's rule experienced anything called poverty! And in their country, there has never been a recorded terror-incidence since his reign. he may have been a dictator, yes and all that, for no man is a saint, but he was the most rewarding dictator in the world ever recorded. His lavish style with the use of the country's coffers is acceptable, for he gave much...too much for the citizens, too much for any country leader to invest in his people. Gadhafi was a saint.

1. There was no electricity bill in Libya; electricity is free for all its citizens.
2. There was no interest on loans, banks in Libya are state-owned and loans given to all its citizens at 0% interest by law.
3. Home considered a human right in Libya – Gadhafi vowed that his parents would not get a house until everyone in Libya had a home. Gadhafi’s father has died while him, his wife and his mother are still living in a tent.
4. All newlyweds in Libya receive $60,000 Dinar (US$50,000) by the government to buy their first apartment so to help start up the family.
5. Education and medical treatments are free in Libya. Before Gaddafi only 25% of Libyans are literate. Today the figure is 83%.
6. Should Libyans want to take up farming career, they would receive farming land, a farming house, equipments, seeds and livestock to kick-start their farms – all for free.
7. If Libyans cannot find the education or medical facilities they need in Libya, the government funds them to go abroad for it – not only free but they get US$2,300 per month accommodation and car allowance.
8. In Libyan, if a Libyan buys a car, the government subsidized 50% of the price.
9. The price of petrol in Libya is $0.14 per liter.
10. Libya has no external debt and its reserves amount to $150 billion – now frozen globally.
11. If a Libyan is unable to get employment after graduation the state would pay the average salary of the profession as if he or she is employed until employment is found.
12. A portion of Libyan oil sale is, credited directly to the bank accounts of all Libyan citizens.
13. A mother who gave birth to a child receive US$5,000
14. 40 loaves of bread in Libya costs $ 0.15
15. 25% of Libyans have a university degree
16. Gaddafi carried out the world’s largest irrigation project, known as the Great Man-Made River project, to make water readily available throughout the desert country.
Prior to the international sanction placed on Gaddafi & Libya in the 1980s, it was one of the richest in the world by GDP per capita – with a living standard higher than Japan. It was the richest in Africa before the revolution.The living standard – GDP per capita is $11,314 for Libya, you cannot claim they are poor if they live better than your country. Gaddafi might have spent or carried out personal investment ventures using the country`s money but he did what most dictators don`t do, give back to the people, look after the average Libyan.
17.. Under Gaddafi’s oil-revenue-sharing program, each Libyan gets $500 (DOLLARS) dumped into his or her bank account, each month
18. Women in Libya have equal rights, not only as a philosophy, but also in practice.
19. Libyans have a direct participatory democracy based on People’s Conferences that puts other “democracies” to shame

I again reiterate, Libyans have done what Africans are adept at, digging their own graves in the name of Sarkozy and his cronies. When gnashing of teeth and painful nostalgia will starting hitting them hard, it will be too late. Let us give them the grace period for celebration before they embroil themselves in abject abyss too deep to be saved from. And then, probably then, they can unanimously proclaim Ken saro-Wiwa's lamentation:

AFRICA HAS KILLED HER SUN!

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

An Ode To Clueless Babe



I stood for long by your door last night, listening to the quiet sobs, tears going cold & heart hardening in resolve, as you cried yourself to sleep trying to soothe away the ache…in the morning your eyes looked hollow, doubt clouding your face, gone was the resolve and tenacity of yester night, replaced by desperation and contradiction, sifting through the sands for happier memories – changing truth to fantasy – looking for reasons to hold on. You tell me he’s still in-love with you, he really hasn’t moved on, you saw him yesterday and he looked miserable; he seemed gutted with regret. But you are just clutching at straws; it’s what you desperately want to believe even when you know better.

You saw the lights fading and knew the curtains were closing, all the signs were there but you chose to ignore them; the nights he never came home, all the texts that were never replied, the new best-friend – who used to be his old crush – how she slaps his hand every time they share a private joke… then one day he took off the costume and stopped playing the role. He said that you had changed and things just weren’t the same anymore but all the while he couldn’t look you in the eye. She came to pick him up when he moved his stuff out – a shoulder to lean on – but the next day you saw them, holding hands, in school.

                                

I have seen the look in your eyes every time we ‘unintentionally’ bump into him at the all places you used to visit together, each time with a different girl hanging on his arm. Most times he doesn’t even notice you, so you whisper nothings into my ear and burst into exaggerated laughter but even then he only glances around to acknowledge you with the slightest nod. You squeeze my hand in hurt and plant a kiss on my cheek to make him jealous… I only wish the kisses were real but I keep my jealousy close!

Every time the world comes crashing down, you always wind up at my door; tears flowing, feeling used and cheap, faith broken, swearing never to take a chance on love again, not to let anyone in but every time those walls come crumbling down, you always rush in again; blindingly seeking the same hurt like the moth that rushes to a flame of its own destruction. And every time I am always there to catch your tears, to tend to the bruises; trying to salvage what is left of you heart – and each the time the pieces are getting smaller – reminding you that you’re worth a lot more, holding your hand so you may not give-up on love, mending your heart so you might love another.

My love seeks triumph in disguise; masking my true feelings with the pretense friendship and all the time secretly hoping to be found-out…It is true am seeing someone now but I lied when I said I loved her because my heart isn’t mine to give. Am afraid to show you the face of my love because am afraid you’ll turn away form me, afraid to tell you that what I feel for you because you might not feel the same. So I live clothed in wistful desire because I can’t bear the thought of you turning me down. But I have loved you all along and if I could, if I had the courage, if ever I find the right words, if it still isn’t too late for us…I would tell you how much I care, if ever you give me the chance, then maybe I will tell you how much I want to hold you, how am dying to kiss you, to soothe away all the fears and the pain from past hurts, if ever the time comes, maybe then you might be truly loved!